From Prada to Pampers

This may be the strangest thing you have ever read, and Pampers you can pay me later ,but lemme tell ya'll I am in LOVE with a new "designer" lol. So usually this would be a post about an amazing Prada hand bag I wanted/needed/secretly bought and prayed my husband didn't find out...however times they are a changin' and this is indeed a post about Pampers and my love for the "blue stipe wetness indicator".
I dunno how many diapers you have changed, but it feels like a giant game of Russian Roullette when you are deciding if indeed the diaper is done for. There are many methods...you have your "squeezers" ya know the ones....they just reach on up and squeeze the toosh and to see if it is soggy. Well two reasons why this is not a good technique 1. you risk squeezing "stuff" OUT of the diaper and that can get ugly FAST 2. Sometimes you just get it wrong ...it may feel a lil cushy and you go through the hassle of undoing the gosh forsaken onesie snaps that lock together like they are protecting precious treasures and open er' on up to nothing!....another method are the "swipers" ...takes a gutsy person to do this I will give you that they are the ones that just stick the fingers on in (usually also the ones with multiple children who are no longer afraid of the potentials hidden inside said diaper.) I don't think I even need to list the possible hazards of this method?! You also have your sniffers, your full checkers etc, and then you have the Pampers swaddlers..they have the amazing and magic "blue line" it's like the "double C" logo for baby butts! What is this magic line? It takes the guess work out of "is the diaper dirty" game; if the diaper is wet or dirty the line turns blue! Consequently the darker the blue the more preparation you know is required for that grand reveal! My dad's favorite thing is to holler "BLUE STRIPE" lol as if he found a prize egg on Easter. Well done Pampers...well done...

"Gammy" and "Daddy" changing Charlie's first "blue stripe" in the hospital

SHE'S HERE!!! Meet the new diva in training!

Well well well... look who is BACK! After a horrific pregnancy followed by a delivery that could have been featured on one of those scify exercism shows, we proudly welcomed our perfect baby girl on April 22. She was a whole 3 weeks early (she has been trying to make her debut since she was 29 weeks!!) and she was a whopping 8lbs and 20 inches long (yes I gave birth to a toddler) and since mommy's epideral didn't take I got to experience every last bit of the "miracle" (or should we say torture) of child bearing...lemme just say we will not be having any more lil munchkins in the near future. Enough about that! I am going to brag about my rhinestoned, big bow wearing, BLUE eyed girl!!! (if you know me and my italian-esque family the BLUE eyes are a BIG deal in the family of big brown peepers)
 She is now a whole 14 weeks old, and daddy is still "serving" our country in South Korea lol...I have never in my life enjoyed something so much, or felt a love like I have since the day of her arrival. Who knew you could enjoy being woken up at all hours of the night, puked on, peed on, pooped on, and looking like you don't own a hair brush so much?!
 If you hate "adventure in mommy land" type posts then you should probably not read the next few articles I post, however, if you've read any of mine before I can assure you that I have been blessed with the ability to not do ANYTHING the normal or easy way (not inentionally it just seems to be in my nature) so I assure you a good laugh, and a GREAT reminder to take that birth control *wink* NOW for the fun part; please feel free to ooh-ahh and OH EM GEE at the following pictures all you want, I feel pretty confident in saying that we have been blessed beyond measure and I look forward to every day I am gifted enought to spend with this smiley, strong willed, adorable little girl.

CHARLSIE MARIE: (2 weeks old, photographs by the amazing Taryn Southern of "Taryn Southern Photography")

Bottles and Babies and......BOOBS OHHHHHHH MY!!!!

So those of you that have read my adventures in becoming the domestic diva, already know i am not a let's say "busty gal" lol....Well then it should come as no surprise that for years I have told Mychal that "when i get skinny" (HA which means he thinks the time will never come ;) ) ....I want a boob job!!! wellllllll lemme tell you! after this lil "test drive" of the ladies I have changed my mind! These are not "ladies" anymore! They are out of control WOMEN!!! .....Anyone that had seen me noticed...you couldn't help and we would laugh and joke about it!!! ....well it wasn't 10 weeks after being pregnant that ummmm my "cup had runneth over"....long story short I had to go get a new bra today....oy vay what a mess!!!

I decided that getting dressed cute would help encourage me for this "big shopping outing" (i had been very sick and hadn't left the house all week) so on went the makeup the bling, the wedges (FATAL MISTAKE) ....out came the teasing comb (which at this point prob. thought I had gone bald or shaved my head because it'd been so long since it saw daylight!!) ....after getting dressed i just wanted a nap!!!!!! ...well i sucked it up and drug myself down to the good ol' kohls and thought (keyword thought! meaning I am deranged lol) I would look around maybe pick up some Christmas gifts etc.

I made it from the parking lot and immediately wanted to throw my shoes away...i could literally feel my veins pulsing through my legs screaming WHYYYYYYY!!!! GO BACK TO THE RELCINER!!!!....I knew then "shopping around" wouldn't cut it! to the bras I went to get something to reign these ponies in ....I had gotten to the point where i looked like a cheap stripper under my shirt....I mean who knew boobs could be muffin tops too lol ....

bra shopping has always been embarrassing because i am more of a fun sized lady, so i have to feel and check for padding and push up etc...i always imagined these dolly parton pamela gals strolling in and proudly grabbing whatever print they liked and being done....wrong! those poor girls stroll in and out so fast because they are in PAIN....their back feels like it's breaking your boobs feel like they may explode, and it seems like at any moment you may fall right over!!! I totally get it now lol....The c cups (yes i said C) are acrosss the aisle from the a/b (my usual spot) and i was thinking HA i finally get to cross over...but now that i was here I just wanted to go BACK ACROSS THE AISLE! ....i informed Mychal he was sooooo right I was never getting a boob job, that the test drive had cleared me of that desire.....he laughed and said "I was never much of a boob man, more of a booty and you have more then enough of that" hahaha MEN just when ya think they have said the right thing....they continue speaking and ruin it lol

Are We Done Yet?!

OK OK OK I know ( without the few e-mails i received to inform me lol) that I am WAY behind I assure you I will be much better now that I am no longer a sleeping, puking, zombie! So here we are! 14 weeks and 2 days!!! in 2 weeks we get our first shot at seeing the gender which is VERY exciting I cannot wait!!! It has been a very long and rough 14 weeks but things are looking up.

We got bad news this week in reference to Mychal, he is being moved 5 hours south of where he is in Korea and reports Nov. 14th, which means I do not get to go visit anymore, and he has to get reapproved for leave at the time of the baby's birth....which if the gentleman in charge knows what is best for his little ol' life will not be an issue, otherwise I will be flying to Korea to have this baby lol ....

I started showing at 10 weeks......yea yea I know you didn't show till 20 lol well 4'11 leaves no room for the baby to go but out!! and that it is!! currently I keep loosing weight per the scale (which is funny since my belly gets bigger and bigger) ....I am just now able to even get out of bed! whooooosh i felt like i'd been sea sick for 2 months straight and had massive migrains! But now i have some more energy and spunk and have even ventured out amongst the living!! lol

I'm currently house hunting which is miserable! I am overly emotional, paranoid, and mychal isn't here to tell me that No amber! just because it isn't in a culdesac doesn't mean the baby or dog will be smashed by a car lol .....

We finally got skype on my phone and I was soooooo excited except then i realized i had to make SOME effort to not look like a homeless person lol so a little foundation and a comb goes a LONG way haha....

well now that you are caught up with where we are at I will post here again shortly!!!

10 weeks and counting....sweats can be sexy too right?!

OH my so now that you are caught up on the BIG news...lets fill ya in on the chaos thus far...My parents are out of control we have no clue what the baby will be and yet i have a jogging stroller, rocking horse, and a tub FULL of things, not to mention a small library it is insane and it must stop at this rate the child will have its first car at 3!!! My mother has even been buying one girl one boy of numerous things...who does that?!

Mychal is adapting to Korea, other then some bad food experiments, a minor run over by a cab, and some very confused conversations he is holding his own lol i tried to convince him to let me move over after my first trimester but he would have no such thing...

I've def. been feeling pregnant aside from the "morning sickness" HA which is a major joke try all day sickness, the heart burn from hell, and the sudden onset of dolly parton's chest!I woke up this morning to the first sign of a baby bump :) So I am really glad that mychal is missing all this "wonderful" pregnancy stuff...i mean whoever said it was a beautiful thing was def. a man...forget cute dresses and heels, all i want is to lounge in sweats and sleep on and off all day in between hanging my head over the toilet...when we skype i at least do my hair and makeup haha that'll fool em' ;)

I'm at the akward stage where maternity clothes are too big and my regular clothes are too small....and i finally have a small bump...I would much rather look pregnant then people look and wonder if amber's had one to many snack cakes LOL even the local trip to walmart has become a mission impossible act, wearing loose shirts to hide the lil muffin pouch, hiding behind my overstuffed purse and cart, dodging people and just wanting to get out LOL

just when we thought we had it all planned out....LIFE hits

Well I know what you are thinking....and No I am not writting this entry from my Korean high-rise, and I will not be telling you about the adventures and shopping in a foreign land....I am back in my mother's attic (ok so it’s more like a studio apartment but STILL) lemme rewind a bit....

Mychal and I had everything settled to begin our new adventure abroad, our home was (well still is) in storage, the goods we wanted to take had been shipped, we had moved out of our house, and had come back home for two weeks before our grand departure. Close friends of ours were having a wedding the 2nd of Sept, while mychal was leaving the 6th, and i was to follow the 12th....was being the key word here.

We had arrived down in Galveston area for the wedding and i had been feeling very under the weather, and my little friend i see once a month was a little behind, (ok a week behind let's call it denial) i decided to take a test before the wedding just in case and more to clear my mind so when the champagne started passing around i could enjoy myself....i think i blacked out for a split second when i saw those two pink lines....i have also decided that there needs to be something else, idk a flower? a smiley face? something other than those harsh mean looking two lines!!! As i went running for mychal i sent him into look at the counter his response? UM? NO this one is messed up there are 2 lines not 1 lol really? riiiiiight honey it's the test! well after SIX tests (we were just being thorough) and SIX sets of pink lines it was official....we told our family and two days later we sent mychal on his way to Korea...I will no longer be joining I will be setting up our little nest here...(NO NOT IN MY MOTHER'S ATTIC) LOL
Sooooo her we go!!!! Now...HOW am I gonna wear heels with a belly?! ;)

I envy the bird...

Yes, I realize it has been a LONG while since I have been on here, however rest assured you will be hearing from me more often then you probably ever wanted. :) I must warn you though that the original blog about "domestic diva" daily life, and the quest for the ultimate trophy wife crown has changed a little....we just learned that we will be leaving for Seoul, Korea in Sept. and I thought this would be a great way to keep friends, family, and everyone in between up to date on our crazy adventures leading up to and during the duration of our deployment....so sit back and enjoy the chaos that is sure to unfold as we begin this swift process of relocation and adaptation!

Here is a little preview of what is to come.

The day i found out was already off to a rocky start prior to this HUGE news, my car had began over heating and was in the shop. It was gonna take 2 days of a rental car and 800 dollars of repairs to make the problem go away...talk about a BUMMER...to top it off mychal was driving the rental car and hadn't turned on the head lights (ours are automatic) resulting in him getting pulled over and given a ticket no no no not for the headlights, but for the insurance card he did not have because it was in OUR car at the auto repair shop....as if all of the above was not enough he breaks the news of our lil "trip" to me. I was shocked and mentally shut down at that point trying to stay positive as we told our family (who was not taking the news too great) defeated by the day we decided to find comfort in some major "No-No" fried chicken and set out for what one would assume would be the easiest task of the day half way there a rather large bird dive bombed the front of the car smacking himself into the rental cars windshield ...(feathers amongst other things )flew and smeared themselves all about and my husband and i looked at each other. We were laughing to the point of tears...as i sat there dabbing my tears he looks at me and simply says "...is it bad I envy that damn bird right now"