random thoughts at 3am

I'm up reading articles about marriage and parenting since my hips are in such pain lol things I've realized so far:

1. I'm not mushy- I don't want flowers from mychal or gag me out fb statuses (when he does stuff it means more because it isn't excessive and it is typically something that Truly means something to me) after 9yrs I guess I'm pretty secure in that he likes me haha our "love language"  happens to be sarcasm and humor- maybe you don't think we are romantic- well in our way we are- sure as our relationship evolved our style has too- date night dressed up is ok but we can and do have just as much fun with redbox ,sweats, and take out-and we prefer the food truck park and live band to a carriage ride in dallas why? Not because we arent romantic but because i don't need to be wow'd - date nights  are about relaxing, and spending time together laughing, (and we have been there done that-  the fancy extravagant gesture stuff -we have transitioned past that stage)  i would rather 100 bucks on something i want and need vs 100 bucks flowers that die lol our priorities now vs 9 yrs ago have changed and so have we.



2 i hate being called a nickname -don't call me baby/muffin/ honey (esp not hun) Mychal and I both call each other babe sometimes- in private at home- that doesn't bother me but I'm not a treat/snack/ Or toddler- charlsie is not even 2 and knows both of our first names because that's what we call each other (unless speaking to her about the other then it's mama or dad)

3. I'm a pretty laid back mom- maybe because she's almost two and I've learned that a parenting book is crap lol great tips-but real life is not scripted -90% of parenting is gut instinct

4. I'm old fashioned (mychal is too) in our marriage, religion,politics, in our roles in our family life and parenting we fit more into idk the 40's lol then modern world views - and I'm ok with that!

5. I'm not a paranoid mom like I thought i'd be ...am I cautious yes-but a scrape on the knee and dirt on their hands is the only way kids will learn and develop confidence and independence- if you freak over every new study and every new recall (the bumbo seat is a prime example) go ahead and subscribe to a daily dose of nerve pills- be informed but know that not everything you read does or will apply to you- don't be a sheep make your own choices - and use common sense

6. I'm pretty much the opposite of a" hippy" mom- with Charlie there was no doubt of an epidural and this round is a planned c-section. We are firm advocates for vaccines (probably the only issue in the world I can't understand the other point of view on) while I love a good home remedy I am not afraid of a doctor's recommendation for meds- I didn't breast feed and won't again with baby number two, and we use disposable diapers

7.Judgy moms drive me nuts what works for you works for you what works for me works for me - at the end of the day as long as we have happy healthy children then obviously whatever choice we've made is working out alright for each of us

There is no manual to life, and there are 4 ways to get to the same spot as far as parenting goes- the only advice I'd give is if you enjoy your children and you enjoy your marriage- then you're on the right road for you. You don't need validation from Sally Joe that your way is "right" choose your path and own it- don't make excuses or knock alternative styles don't bully others about not choosing the same route and never slam another women's style because you aren't her and you aren't in her shoes.

technology makes me a better mom

As with every new year- my newsfeed, inbox, and even magazines are filled with everyone's resolutions, goals, and tips for acheiving them .

I first saw the post i'm referencing a while back, but it has been resurrected in accordance with the " i am going to do better" mind set everyone has taken on. Essentially it is a blog about putting down the i-phone so you " don't miss out on your child's life" . I know. Obviously a stay at home mama did NOT write this.

While I get the over all underlying message, I also see this from a completely different perspective.  My "smart phone" allows me to preserve not only my sanity - but my child's everyday moments  of childhood.  From pictures,  to videos, to writing down what she says and does, voice recordings of her
" concerts" - ( things some of the new moms reposting - don't yet realize- you forget! ) From apps for potty training, to the Mickey app that allows for fuss free grocery shopping- that evil little square of technology is a pure gift! !

Now that is without even mentioning that not all of us mamas leave the house daily. While some working mamas socialize, engage in adult conversation regularly, have a lunch break ( even a pee break) to themselves- while some moms actually get dressed every morning and go off to solve world problems, some of us don't.

Some of us moms are in the same yoga pants and tee from sun up to sun down, we are listening to dora, and the fifth performance of " old McDonald" - we are fishing crayons outta belly buttons, barbies outta the toilet, and eating left over cheerios while we try to pee without an audience. After reading the same book three times, reheating our FIRST cup of coffee for the third time, and playing tea party for the tenth time- somehwere between laundry, dishes, a juice spill,  and a meltdown we login to take a glimpse of the outside world.

We see people doing things we wish we could, and we feel better seeing people's days are just like ours. We communicate with friends because, lets face it a phone call and toddler are like oil and water. We vent, we brag, we network with other mamas about our problems etc. We post snapshots of our babies daily doings to share with friends, relatives,  spouses etc. Some of which that would never get to see our children grow without us doing so. we google events, playdates,crafts, and recipes.  We take a mental break so we don't burn out.

Every day my husband gets texts of what my daughter is doing.  Some good, some funny, some not. He doesn't ever say put down your phone you're missing out. No. He says thank you for making sure i too see it all.

Just like every opinion there are two sides to the fence and i thought I'd share mine, so next time you see a mom on facebook, texting, or whatever-maybe you won't judge her as " missing out" maybe she is making sure other people who love her child just as much but don't get to spend 24/7 with them are getting to experience what she is.

Child birth and football...

Ok so I will no doubt step on a few toes with this. But let's just be honest here- if you know me or have read even half of one of these blogs you will know I'm gonna blab away regardless. 

With it being baby season around here I've seen this pet peeve constantly, and I just do not get it. Ladies, labor is not like a football game, we do not need nor do we want a play by play update of your dilation progress, your pushing, your contractions, your whole detailed entire birth experience. It is gross. Seriously people could start taking bets with some of these posts- "I got 5 bucks says she is at a 10 by 5pm"- I mean think about what you're actually talking about and telling people. That is just way too personal for me.

I Remember when I had my daughter. I threatened to harm anyone that posted any info. I didn't even want people to know I was AT the hospital. How about we pretend birth is a magical beautiful experience (if you say that statement is true you have never had and have never witnesses actual child birth - it's ugly) anyhow lets just pretend the baby magically appears and boom you can announce the arrival. Post a beautiful pic of you and your miracle and let the oooh and ahhh's begin. Nobody needs to know about your lady parts performance during all this. I'm a firm believer that ANY info about your bits and pieces is almost always not social media acceptable. What next?! Are people going to Instagram and vine the actual birth? I can see it now..."my placenta #nofilter #girlpower" 

I completely understand being excited to finally be meeting the lil angel who has been growing in your belly for all these months. But lets keep it classy friends. 

The "gay thing"- church vs state

I'm gonna catch some heat for this, and that's ok! However before you start stoning me I ask you read this entire post before making a snap judgement of what you *think* I am going to say.

I am a Christian, a strict born and raised baptist with very strong beliefs. I associate myself with more of the right wing conservative policies. I hate big government, and I support the legalization of gay marriage.

Separation of church and state is not to protect the church, it is not to protect the state- it is in fact to protect both. I do not want a government regulation telling me what I can and can not believe, or how I can and cannot practice my faith. Many people agree with this, but they stop here. The flip side to that is we cannot have a government that is told what it can and cannot do by a church. *gasp* I know...and yes you read right I do not think either organization should have an influence on the actions of the other.

Sure - if a Christian church was governing I would be happy and could live as such - however what if the "governing religion " was say Muslim ? I bet then you wouldn't want religion and state mixing. We best separate the two before it gets so tangled up we are Saudi Arabia over here- I can't do burkas guys!!! I will look like a PAC man ghost.

My idea of perfection would be that unions through the government are just that - you want to marry your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your dog ok great! Let em be-let em have the same tax and insurance benefits as anyone else...  that has nothing to do with the church - now on the flip side if you want a ceremony in a church let the church decide what regulations they impose - state you don't go forcing them to accept the idea if they don't want to... that's their territory, and just like with any issue guys if you don't agree with the church then just dont associate with a church that does not match your beliefs- And BAM! Everyone is happy. It isn't realistic to battle over wrong vs right we each have our own morals and standards by which we base those two categories and no two people's will be the same. Compromise people.

We can find happy medium solutions, where everyone gains something, to most of our current issues. The problem is both the left and right want it their way 100% - that's not what this country is about.... Or was about originally - there is always a middle ground. Our government represents everyone and all beliefs. Not just a select group.

In the end of this scenario nobody's beliefs are forced on anyone, the right keeps their church doctrines, the state does its job of representing everyone - happy dances for all !!

In closing I would also like to say that as a Christian I feel that I am a sinner. My sin is no better then anyone else's. My "job" is to love and support you NOT judge you. I do not care who you voted for, I do not care what color you are, what God you worship, or what gender you love. I love people for them. I serve a loving God who accepts any and all and loves me, nspite of my flaws. Why should I be any different. I am a baptist, but I don't dislike Jews because their beliefs are different than mine .

Changed plans ... The surprise baby

We all have plans. Plans for dinner, plans for our bodies, plans for the future all kinds of plans. We all just assume that these "plans" are concrete. If only. We had a plan, we've had lots of plans and time and time again fate, destiny, God, and/ or Lady Luck changes those courses we have so diligently mapped out.

We had a five year plan. We are happily enjoying our baby girl and loving giving her every last ounce of our being. The mister is wrapping up some more med school I am desperately trying to get in shape and in five years when all these pieces are complete and in place THEN we can start round two of babies. Sounds good huh? Sounds like a plan right? Wrong!

I thought I had the flu. After a sneaky suspicion, a doubtful husband, and 8 test later.... That five year plan changed. Our lil family of three will become a family of four in march. Our five yr plan became a two yr plan. And I cried.

I cried out of shock, fear, guilt, happiness .... All of it just gushed from my eyes . Not a pretty cry no no no a snot drenched sobbing from my gut "what are we gonna do" "yay it's a baby" bipolar, roller coaster cry. Mychal watched, he hugged me and we went to bed.

Every time I looked at ms c I cried I felt somehow I had robbed her of all these years of undivided attention I had planned, I felt over night I had made my baby girl a "big girl", and I felt on some level like I had betrayed her. I blame the hormones.

The next day mychal had to leave town ( convenient I know) it was a long weekend. I told my parents, and I cried some more. On lookers woulda suspected a death had taken place and in my mind in my heart a death had occurred.... The death of my plan.

Mychal returned home to the distraught woman he left. I am usually the one that holds it together, the one that finds silver linings. I couldn't. Then my husband did and said the sweetest thing he has ever spoke to me. He hugged me. I stood crying and hugged him." Amber this is fine and that baby deserves to be as special and as anticipated as our Charlie was and I don't care if we have 5 babies everyone in this world is only born once and that means every baby every birth is special." I was confused because this man isn't poetic. He doesn't do serious and certainly doesn't do emotion or feelings. He went on to tell me how much more prepared we were this round we weren't in the process of moving across the world, we were both on the same continent, and how amazing ms c is and how amazing it'll be to have double those blessings. I didn't know I could but I loved him more right then and there.

"So our plans changed, that's not a first and it's not the last " he said, "it'll be fine. What's one more right?!" And we hugged and we laughed.

We couldn't be more excited now but I won't deny the almost grief I felt at first. Some of my greatest blessings have come from my broken plans and so far life has yet to let me down. We are excited to share and begin our next chapter with you all!!!!

The crappiest day ever

Today was a classic day in the Northrip home. Most people would pray nobody ever finds out about these days, and then there is me- who will share it with the world! I have no shame. Today was going to be "family day" .

My husband typically works around 90 plus or so hrs in a two week pay period, he's very fortunate that he loves his job and chooses to work overtime when he can (which is at least once a period !) he works 12 hr shifts at a level one ER it is ridiculous busy so when he works it is work- come home- eat-sleep-goodnight making his "off days" special. We love daddy time! (And mama likes to shower) We all slept in ( I use the combination "we slept" loosely- the mr and ms c took over my bed forced me to the edge with nothing but a sheet and snored away while I caught a crick in my neck and frost bite of the toes) we all woke, I fixed breakfast, and we scouted out what fun activity we would embark on - after deciding the park would be a good adventure the mr set off to run some errands while ms c and I got dressed. This my friends is where it all went downhill. I went to change her diaper for the 100th time of the day and noticed red bumps - not a diaper rash - but blisters (that were not there a few minutes earlier when I changed her last diaper) I did what any rational mother would do and panicked and then googled it. Bad move. Convinced she now had thrush, measles, mumps, chicken pox, Scarlett fever or all of them morphed into a super bug I dialed her dr's office and played it cool- I then explained the symptoms- the nurse then interrogates me about our whereabouts the week before (the zoo, children's museum, fossil rim safari - oh lord! I've given her some African jungle fever I knew she shoulda never touched the deer!!! I was sweating now) the nurse asks if I can please come in today- that DOES NOT help any !! The mr arrives to find methrown together acting as though she lost a limb waiting at the door and off we go! 

Worst visit ever! From the time we entered the exam room she decided she was less then thrilled and progressively got more upset. When she saw her dr she went into melt down mode screaming crying holding her breathe (resulting in mama crying and getting sick to her stomach) upon investigation her dr decided the flesh eating virus was nothing more then a slight allergic reaction and heat rash and would be fine. But since she was here let's do her 15 month shots and take blood- I literally almost fainted - noticing how pale I was the mr begins giving me a half pep talk half lecture and we decide he will hold her- one prick, two shots, and an exercism later we all left crying, vaccinated and emotionally disturbed. We treated her to dinner and ice cream with gammy and poppy and at last the day was looking up! By the time we got home it was time for her bath and bed. This is where it all fell apart (yep even worse then earlier- I know!) so mr is having a bathroom break and sits ms c on her potty - idk how the rest played out all I know is what I encountered- I hear him say No! Stay on the potty followed by AMBER!!! (Never a good sign) I walk into him on the toilet, her OFF the toilet and Her POOPING on the tile as I grab her and rush back to the potty it happened. This is where we hit rock bottom- Fenway (the dog ) bust in and in one scoop EATS her poop!!! I immediately begin vomiting into the sink - naked child is back on her potty clapping her hands and laughing - the mr is gagging asking me to stop puking (seriously!? That's the most normal thing happening right now!!!) We have lost control!!! He's hollering , as I continue to puke, Charlie escapes and he tries to put pants back on. We finally managed to gather some composer and wrangle ms c into a bath while the mr brushed the dogs teeth- and then we laughed until we cried. Even on our bad days we are still making memories and even on the days that are literally "crappy" there is still a good laugh in there somewhere. Our family day doesn't end up as planned, and I still can't look at the dog without getting sick - but as we sat reading ms c her bedtime book I couldn't help but smile and think I wouldn't have it any other way. At least it isn't boring haha

That's not pebbles ....

My mother and I own and run a local boutique together in the historic downtown strip that features lots of cozy upscale boutiques boasting anything from home decor to women's and children's fashions  to antiques and beyond. It is both a blessing and a curse to be able to take Charlie to work with me when I need to. People always say "must be nice " when they talk about me working with her and while I do love and appreciate that I don't miss anything or time with her just for a second imagine doing your "job" or helping customers with a lil one year old diva attached to your hip.... Mmmmhmm that's what I thought !

Summers in Tx are hot. We texans are like lobsters in the boiling pot, added in some humidity on top of that heat and you literally feel like you may explode. That's about how the temp was this particular day last week. We had started the day off early with a photo shoot featuring Charlie. Since it smothering hot, and she'd been in full glam mode already I went ahead and just put a light lil onesie on her (something I never do if we leave the house). We were resetting the window displays so i too dressed for comforted and off we went.

She was playing like an angel in our office which lets face it is really hers! My mother aka "gammy" had given her a cup of sonic ice (her addiction ) and she was content. Realizing I was coming in and out (to look at the widows) Charlie thought this would be a fun time to play peak a boo with me. All I can say about what follows is thank goodness is was after we had closed.

As I came in and began picking up my "creative chaos" I noticed a white puffy thing in the floor. As I made my way over I realized it was Charlie's diaper. I froze. I knew what this meant. Lately she started trying to take her diapers off (and was quite successful if she had a onesie on) and then peeing on the floor! -my floors tile and while this lil trend infuriates me it is a quick fix- however the boutique floors are 100yr old wood floors with rugs .... Gammy! Do you have Charlie!? I nervously yelled praying maybe she had caught the naked bandit already... And then we both saw her at the same time I gasp and gammy bellowed out laughing uncontrollably .... There bent over in front of our huge glass window ... Facing the street with passer Byers was my naked child. Bare butt... Having no shame dancing away!! As I made my way over I could here gammy hollering that Charlie had gotten "pebbles " and to grab them so she didn't eat them.... As I got to my naked booty dancing baby and reached down an audible gag escaped ....there in front of the whole downtown my daughter had taken a number two. As I'm mortified trying to remove her and the evidence ASAP she began to applaud herself and dance.... And this is where it got worse (oh yea! It got worse ) on the middle of the floor she continued to "do her business" leaving a trail as i frantically tried to restrain,clean, and avoid her all at once. I now know what a hound dog experiences when trying to wrangle a rabbitt. My mother was of no help. She was bent over laughing uncontrollably which resulted in Charlie getting more excited and more wiggly! We finally managed to get the situation under control and I broke out the bleach as my mom giggled her way through getting a diaper on Charlie. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry when about that time the duo popped out. Charlie freshly changed clapping her little heart out, and Grammys laughter edging her on, I chose to smile. There amongst the clean up, rubber gloves, and embarrassment I realized I am beyond blessed to not miss any of these shenanigans! And you can bet your pretty penny she lost her right to wear onesies to work.