random thoughts at 3am

I'm up reading articles about marriage and parenting since my hips are in such pain lol things I've realized so far:

1. I'm not mushy- I don't want flowers from mychal or gag me out fb statuses (when he does stuff it means more because it isn't excessive and it is typically something that Truly means something to me) after 9yrs I guess I'm pretty secure in that he likes me haha our "love language"  happens to be sarcasm and humor- maybe you don't think we are romantic- well in our way we are- sure as our relationship evolved our style has too- date night dressed up is ok but we can and do have just as much fun with redbox ,sweats, and take out-and we prefer the food truck park and live band to a carriage ride in dallas why? Not because we arent romantic but because i don't need to be wow'd - date nights  are about relaxing, and spending time together laughing, (and we have been there done that-  the fancy extravagant gesture stuff -we have transitioned past that stage)  i would rather 100 bucks on something i want and need vs 100 bucks flowers that die lol our priorities now vs 9 yrs ago have changed and so have we.



2 i hate being called a nickname -don't call me baby/muffin/ honey (esp not hun) Mychal and I both call each other babe sometimes- in private at home- that doesn't bother me but I'm not a treat/snack/ Or toddler- charlsie is not even 2 and knows both of our first names because that's what we call each other (unless speaking to her about the other then it's mama or dad)

3. I'm a pretty laid back mom- maybe because she's almost two and I've learned that a parenting book is crap lol great tips-but real life is not scripted -90% of parenting is gut instinct

4. I'm old fashioned (mychal is too) in our marriage, religion,politics, in our roles in our family life and parenting we fit more into idk the 40's lol then modern world views - and I'm ok with that!

5. I'm not a paranoid mom like I thought i'd be ...am I cautious yes-but a scrape on the knee and dirt on their hands is the only way kids will learn and develop confidence and independence- if you freak over every new study and every new recall (the bumbo seat is a prime example) go ahead and subscribe to a daily dose of nerve pills- be informed but know that not everything you read does or will apply to you- don't be a sheep make your own choices - and use common sense

6. I'm pretty much the opposite of a" hippy" mom- with Charlie there was no doubt of an epidural and this round is a planned c-section. We are firm advocates for vaccines (probably the only issue in the world I can't understand the other point of view on) while I love a good home remedy I am not afraid of a doctor's recommendation for meds- I didn't breast feed and won't again with baby number two, and we use disposable diapers

7.Judgy moms drive me nuts what works for you works for you what works for me works for me - at the end of the day as long as we have happy healthy children then obviously whatever choice we've made is working out alright for each of us

There is no manual to life, and there are 4 ways to get to the same spot as far as parenting goes- the only advice I'd give is if you enjoy your children and you enjoy your marriage- then you're on the right road for you. You don't need validation from Sally Joe that your way is "right" choose your path and own it- don't make excuses or knock alternative styles don't bully others about not choosing the same route and never slam another women's style because you aren't her and you aren't in her shoes.

technology makes me a better mom

As with every new year- my newsfeed, inbox, and even magazines are filled with everyone's resolutions, goals, and tips for acheiving them .

I first saw the post i'm referencing a while back, but it has been resurrected in accordance with the " i am going to do better" mind set everyone has taken on. Essentially it is a blog about putting down the i-phone so you " don't miss out on your child's life" . I know. Obviously a stay at home mama did NOT write this.

While I get the over all underlying message, I also see this from a completely different perspective.  My "smart phone" allows me to preserve not only my sanity - but my child's everyday moments  of childhood.  From pictures,  to videos, to writing down what she says and does, voice recordings of her
" concerts" - ( things some of the new moms reposting - don't yet realize- you forget! ) From apps for potty training, to the Mickey app that allows for fuss free grocery shopping- that evil little square of technology is a pure gift! !

Now that is without even mentioning that not all of us mamas leave the house daily. While some working mamas socialize, engage in adult conversation regularly, have a lunch break ( even a pee break) to themselves- while some moms actually get dressed every morning and go off to solve world problems, some of us don't.

Some of us moms are in the same yoga pants and tee from sun up to sun down, we are listening to dora, and the fifth performance of " old McDonald" - we are fishing crayons outta belly buttons, barbies outta the toilet, and eating left over cheerios while we try to pee without an audience. After reading the same book three times, reheating our FIRST cup of coffee for the third time, and playing tea party for the tenth time- somehwere between laundry, dishes, a juice spill,  and a meltdown we login to take a glimpse of the outside world.

We see people doing things we wish we could, and we feel better seeing people's days are just like ours. We communicate with friends because, lets face it a phone call and toddler are like oil and water. We vent, we brag, we network with other mamas about our problems etc. We post snapshots of our babies daily doings to share with friends, relatives,  spouses etc. Some of which that would never get to see our children grow without us doing so. we google events, playdates,crafts, and recipes.  We take a mental break so we don't burn out.

Every day my husband gets texts of what my daughter is doing.  Some good, some funny, some not. He doesn't ever say put down your phone you're missing out. No. He says thank you for making sure i too see it all.

Just like every opinion there are two sides to the fence and i thought I'd share mine, so next time you see a mom on facebook, texting, or whatever-maybe you won't judge her as " missing out" maybe she is making sure other people who love her child just as much but don't get to spend 24/7 with them are getting to experience what she is.