The crappiest day ever

Today was a classic day in the Northrip home. Most people would pray nobody ever finds out about these days, and then there is me- who will share it with the world! I have no shame. Today was going to be "family day" .

My husband typically works around 90 plus or so hrs in a two week pay period, he's very fortunate that he loves his job and chooses to work overtime when he can (which is at least once a period !) he works 12 hr shifts at a level one ER it is ridiculous busy so when he works it is work- come home- eat-sleep-goodnight making his "off days" special. We love daddy time! (And mama likes to shower) We all slept in ( I use the combination "we slept" loosely- the mr and ms c took over my bed forced me to the edge with nothing but a sheet and snored away while I caught a crick in my neck and frost bite of the toes) we all woke, I fixed breakfast, and we scouted out what fun activity we would embark on - after deciding the park would be a good adventure the mr set off to run some errands while ms c and I got dressed. This my friends is where it all went downhill. I went to change her diaper for the 100th time of the day and noticed red bumps - not a diaper rash - but blisters (that were not there a few minutes earlier when I changed her last diaper) I did what any rational mother would do and panicked and then googled it. Bad move. Convinced she now had thrush, measles, mumps, chicken pox, Scarlett fever or all of them morphed into a super bug I dialed her dr's office and played it cool- I then explained the symptoms- the nurse then interrogates me about our whereabouts the week before (the zoo, children's museum, fossil rim safari - oh lord! I've given her some African jungle fever I knew she shoulda never touched the deer!!! I was sweating now) the nurse asks if I can please come in today- that DOES NOT help any !! The mr arrives to find methrown together acting as though she lost a limb waiting at the door and off we go! 

Worst visit ever! From the time we entered the exam room she decided she was less then thrilled and progressively got more upset. When she saw her dr she went into melt down mode screaming crying holding her breathe (resulting in mama crying and getting sick to her stomach) upon investigation her dr decided the flesh eating virus was nothing more then a slight allergic reaction and heat rash and would be fine. But since she was here let's do her 15 month shots and take blood- I literally almost fainted - noticing how pale I was the mr begins giving me a half pep talk half lecture and we decide he will hold her- one prick, two shots, and an exercism later we all left crying, vaccinated and emotionally disturbed. We treated her to dinner and ice cream with gammy and poppy and at last the day was looking up! By the time we got home it was time for her bath and bed. This is where it all fell apart (yep even worse then earlier- I know!) so mr is having a bathroom break and sits ms c on her potty - idk how the rest played out all I know is what I encountered- I hear him say No! Stay on the potty followed by AMBER!!! (Never a good sign) I walk into him on the toilet, her OFF the toilet and Her POOPING on the tile as I grab her and rush back to the potty it happened. This is where we hit rock bottom- Fenway (the dog ) bust in and in one scoop EATS her poop!!! I immediately begin vomiting into the sink - naked child is back on her potty clapping her hands and laughing - the mr is gagging asking me to stop puking (seriously!? That's the most normal thing happening right now!!!) We have lost control!!! He's hollering , as I continue to puke, Charlie escapes and he tries to put pants back on. We finally managed to gather some composer and wrangle ms c into a bath while the mr brushed the dogs teeth- and then we laughed until we cried. Even on our bad days we are still making memories and even on the days that are literally "crappy" there is still a good laugh in there somewhere. Our family day doesn't end up as planned, and I still can't look at the dog without getting sick - but as we sat reading ms c her bedtime book I couldn't help but smile and think I wouldn't have it any other way. At least it isn't boring haha

That's not pebbles ....

My mother and I own and run a local boutique together in the historic downtown strip that features lots of cozy upscale boutiques boasting anything from home decor to women's and children's fashions  to antiques and beyond. It is both a blessing and a curse to be able to take Charlie to work with me when I need to. People always say "must be nice " when they talk about me working with her and while I do love and appreciate that I don't miss anything or time with her just for a second imagine doing your "job" or helping customers with a lil one year old diva attached to your hip.... Mmmmhmm that's what I thought !

Summers in Tx are hot. We texans are like lobsters in the boiling pot, added in some humidity on top of that heat and you literally feel like you may explode. That's about how the temp was this particular day last week. We had started the day off early with a photo shoot featuring Charlie. Since it smothering hot, and she'd been in full glam mode already I went ahead and just put a light lil onesie on her (something I never do if we leave the house). We were resetting the window displays so i too dressed for comforted and off we went.

She was playing like an angel in our office which lets face it is really hers! My mother aka "gammy" had given her a cup of sonic ice (her addiction ) and she was content. Realizing I was coming in and out (to look at the widows) Charlie thought this would be a fun time to play peak a boo with me. All I can say about what follows is thank goodness is was after we had closed.

As I came in and began picking up my "creative chaos" I noticed a white puffy thing in the floor. As I made my way over I realized it was Charlie's diaper. I froze. I knew what this meant. Lately she started trying to take her diapers off (and was quite successful if she had a onesie on) and then peeing on the floor! -my floors tile and while this lil trend infuriates me it is a quick fix- however the boutique floors are 100yr old wood floors with rugs .... Gammy! Do you have Charlie!? I nervously yelled praying maybe she had caught the naked bandit already... And then we both saw her at the same time I gasp and gammy bellowed out laughing uncontrollably .... There bent over in front of our huge glass window ... Facing the street with passer Byers was my naked child. Bare butt... Having no shame dancing away!! As I made my way over I could here gammy hollering that Charlie had gotten "pebbles " and to grab them so she didn't eat them.... As I got to my naked booty dancing baby and reached down an audible gag escaped ....there in front of the whole downtown my daughter had taken a number two. As I'm mortified trying to remove her and the evidence ASAP she began to applaud herself and dance.... And this is where it got worse (oh yea! It got worse ) on the middle of the floor she continued to "do her business" leaving a trail as i frantically tried to restrain,clean, and avoid her all at once. I now know what a hound dog experiences when trying to wrangle a rabbitt. My mother was of no help. She was bent over laughing uncontrollably which resulted in Charlie getting more excited and more wiggly! We finally managed to get the situation under control and I broke out the bleach as my mom giggled her way through getting a diaper on Charlie. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry when about that time the duo popped out. Charlie freshly changed clapping her little heart out, and Grammys laughter edging her on, I chose to smile. There amongst the clean up, rubber gloves, and embarrassment I realized I am beyond blessed to not miss any of these shenanigans! And you can bet your pretty penny she lost her right to wear onesies to work.

Words that kill...

I'm not typically one to rant and gripe on here but tonight is an exception. I'm hot- not in a "turn the air down and hit the fans" -but in a "menopausal meltdown I'm homicidal" way. Tonight my husband, God rest his pea brained soul, uttered a phrase that will cost him most likely the rest of his life. No matter how much he laughs it offs, no matter how much Chanel he buys I will remember these words and it will no doubt spark the same rage that it did tonight.

We've had a chaotic and busy last few weeks. We've been home only to sleep it feels , and that has resulted in some fall out in my house keeping. We had company, both worked, then a grill out for the fourth which resulted in a sink full of dishes. Typically I'm a dish nazi ...I hate dirty dishes! Mind you the mr has been off for a few days and home just as much (if not more then me this week)

Today I got back on my schedule and routine emptying out the cram packed fridge bleaching base boards and doing dishes etc. it felt great! I felt refreshed and having done all this with a meltdown Molly of a child today I was feeling quite accomplished. This did not last long.

I was making dinner when he came in from work. He emptied out the contents of HIS lunch that I packed and made small talk about his day. Pretty typical. Then the volcano erupted. "Oh someone finally did dishes " strike one! In my head I thought no he did not say that! He laughed and bent down to kiss my cheek as smugly I replied with "yea and next time I will leave then until you can help too" then in one swift slip of the tongue he hit strike 2 and 3 all at once and released the lava. " that's your job isn't it? I go to work you do the dishes" and thats when i almost murdered my husband. For a split second I considered pouring the boiling noodles on him but quickly thought about the mess it'd leave. The look on my face must have been bad. He giggled like some school girl nervously and tried to tease. I dunno if I was more mad or hurt. I do his laundry, pack his lunch, layout his breakfast, set my alarm to ensure he doesn't over sleep, raise his child, manage the house am part owner of a busy downtown boutique, work from home with marketing, filling orders, pay the bills (I could go on) and all he sees me as is "the dishwasher". I wanted to stab him, cry, and eat chocolate all simultaneously. We joked through dinner and moved on. I of course made reference to the blunder a couple of times but don't think he grasps the magnitude  of that statement.

I'm a mom, a wife, a house manager, a business woman, a lover of pets, a blogger, a chef, and everything in between.

I long for a 12 hr day full of adults and the "real world". For 12hrs without Dora, Mickey, diapers and bottles. I love my child. I love my "jobs" - but I could only wish that my "job" was so clear cut dry and simple. Where are my off days? Paid holiday? Sick leave? And bonuses? Men are so skewed in their perception of how the household is run and what it actually takes to get it done! I am a firm believer that it takes two to tango in ALL aspects of marriage, and living.

He tried to offer a peace treaty foot rub, and piece of chocolate. I took both. I will definitely went to bed feeling nowhere near the trophy wife I aspire to be. He on the other hand will wake up to find I did not lay out his scrubs, I did not make his lunch, I did not set my alarm, and I did not layout his breakfast. If we are only going to do our "required jobs". Fine. But I'm willing to pet he starves or goes naked long before I do.