Child birth and football...

Ok so I will no doubt step on a few toes with this. But let's just be honest here- if you know me or have read even half of one of these blogs you will know I'm gonna blab away regardless. 

With it being baby season around here I've seen this pet peeve constantly, and I just do not get it. Ladies, labor is not like a football game, we do not need nor do we want a play by play update of your dilation progress, your pushing, your contractions, your whole detailed entire birth experience. It is gross. Seriously people could start taking bets with some of these posts- "I got 5 bucks says she is at a 10 by 5pm"- I mean think about what you're actually talking about and telling people. That is just way too personal for me.

I Remember when I had my daughter. I threatened to harm anyone that posted any info. I didn't even want people to know I was AT the hospital. How about we pretend birth is a magical beautiful experience (if you say that statement is true you have never had and have never witnesses actual child birth - it's ugly) anyhow lets just pretend the baby magically appears and boom you can announce the arrival. Post a beautiful pic of you and your miracle and let the oooh and ahhh's begin. Nobody needs to know about your lady parts performance during all this. I'm a firm believer that ANY info about your bits and pieces is almost always not social media acceptable. What next?! Are people going to Instagram and vine the actual birth? I can see it now..."my placenta #nofilter #girlpower" 

I completely understand being excited to finally be meeting the lil angel who has been growing in your belly for all these months. But lets keep it classy friends. 

The "gay thing"- church vs state

I'm gonna catch some heat for this, and that's ok! However before you start stoning me I ask you read this entire post before making a snap judgement of what you *think* I am going to say.

I am a Christian, a strict born and raised baptist with very strong beliefs. I associate myself with more of the right wing conservative policies. I hate big government, and I support the legalization of gay marriage.

Separation of church and state is not to protect the church, it is not to protect the state- it is in fact to protect both. I do not want a government regulation telling me what I can and can not believe, or how I can and cannot practice my faith. Many people agree with this, but they stop here. The flip side to that is we cannot have a government that is told what it can and cannot do by a church. *gasp* I know...and yes you read right I do not think either organization should have an influence on the actions of the other.

Sure - if a Christian church was governing I would be happy and could live as such - however what if the "governing religion " was say Muslim ? I bet then you wouldn't want religion and state mixing. We best separate the two before it gets so tangled up we are Saudi Arabia over here- I can't do burkas guys!!! I will look like a PAC man ghost.

My idea of perfection would be that unions through the government are just that - you want to marry your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your dog ok great! Let em be-let em have the same tax and insurance benefits as anyone else...  that has nothing to do with the church - now on the flip side if you want a ceremony in a church let the church decide what regulations they impose - state you don't go forcing them to accept the idea if they don't want to... that's their territory, and just like with any issue guys if you don't agree with the church then just dont associate with a church that does not match your beliefs- And BAM! Everyone is happy. It isn't realistic to battle over wrong vs right we each have our own morals and standards by which we base those two categories and no two people's will be the same. Compromise people.

We can find happy medium solutions, where everyone gains something, to most of our current issues. The problem is both the left and right want it their way 100% - that's not what this country is about.... Or was about originally - there is always a middle ground. Our government represents everyone and all beliefs. Not just a select group.

In the end of this scenario nobody's beliefs are forced on anyone, the right keeps their church doctrines, the state does its job of representing everyone - happy dances for all !!

In closing I would also like to say that as a Christian I feel that I am a sinner. My sin is no better then anyone else's. My "job" is to love and support you NOT judge you. I do not care who you voted for, I do not care what color you are, what God you worship, or what gender you love. I love people for them. I serve a loving God who accepts any and all and loves me, nspite of my flaws. Why should I be any different. I am a baptist, but I don't dislike Jews because their beliefs are different than mine .

Changed plans ... The surprise baby

We all have plans. Plans for dinner, plans for our bodies, plans for the future all kinds of plans. We all just assume that these "plans" are concrete. If only. We had a plan, we've had lots of plans and time and time again fate, destiny, God, and/ or Lady Luck changes those courses we have so diligently mapped out.

We had a five year plan. We are happily enjoying our baby girl and loving giving her every last ounce of our being. The mister is wrapping up some more med school I am desperately trying to get in shape and in five years when all these pieces are complete and in place THEN we can start round two of babies. Sounds good huh? Sounds like a plan right? Wrong!

I thought I had the flu. After a sneaky suspicion, a doubtful husband, and 8 test later.... That five year plan changed. Our lil family of three will become a family of four in march. Our five yr plan became a two yr plan. And I cried.

I cried out of shock, fear, guilt, happiness .... All of it just gushed from my eyes . Not a pretty cry no no no a snot drenched sobbing from my gut "what are we gonna do" "yay it's a baby" bipolar, roller coaster cry. Mychal watched, he hugged me and we went to bed.

Every time I looked at ms c I cried I felt somehow I had robbed her of all these years of undivided attention I had planned, I felt over night I had made my baby girl a "big girl", and I felt on some level like I had betrayed her. I blame the hormones.

The next day mychal had to leave town ( convenient I know) it was a long weekend. I told my parents, and I cried some more. On lookers woulda suspected a death had taken place and in my mind in my heart a death had occurred.... The death of my plan.

Mychal returned home to the distraught woman he left. I am usually the one that holds it together, the one that finds silver linings. I couldn't. Then my husband did and said the sweetest thing he has ever spoke to me. He hugged me. I stood crying and hugged him." Amber this is fine and that baby deserves to be as special and as anticipated as our Charlie was and I don't care if we have 5 babies everyone in this world is only born once and that means every baby every birth is special." I was confused because this man isn't poetic. He doesn't do serious and certainly doesn't do emotion or feelings. He went on to tell me how much more prepared we were this round we weren't in the process of moving across the world, we were both on the same continent, and how amazing ms c is and how amazing it'll be to have double those blessings. I didn't know I could but I loved him more right then and there.

"So our plans changed, that's not a first and it's not the last " he said, "it'll be fine. What's one more right?!" And we hugged and we laughed.

We couldn't be more excited now but I won't deny the almost grief I felt at first. Some of my greatest blessings have come from my broken plans and so far life has yet to let me down. We are excited to share and begin our next chapter with you all!!!!

The crappiest day ever

Today was a classic day in the Northrip home. Most people would pray nobody ever finds out about these days, and then there is me- who will share it with the world! I have no shame. Today was going to be "family day" .

My husband typically works around 90 plus or so hrs in a two week pay period, he's very fortunate that he loves his job and chooses to work overtime when he can (which is at least once a period !) he works 12 hr shifts at a level one ER it is ridiculous busy so when he works it is work- come home- eat-sleep-goodnight making his "off days" special. We love daddy time! (And mama likes to shower) We all slept in ( I use the combination "we slept" loosely- the mr and ms c took over my bed forced me to the edge with nothing but a sheet and snored away while I caught a crick in my neck and frost bite of the toes) we all woke, I fixed breakfast, and we scouted out what fun activity we would embark on - after deciding the park would be a good adventure the mr set off to run some errands while ms c and I got dressed. This my friends is where it all went downhill. I went to change her diaper for the 100th time of the day and noticed red bumps - not a diaper rash - but blisters (that were not there a few minutes earlier when I changed her last diaper) I did what any rational mother would do and panicked and then googled it. Bad move. Convinced she now had thrush, measles, mumps, chicken pox, Scarlett fever or all of them morphed into a super bug I dialed her dr's office and played it cool- I then explained the symptoms- the nurse then interrogates me about our whereabouts the week before (the zoo, children's museum, fossil rim safari - oh lord! I've given her some African jungle fever I knew she shoulda never touched the deer!!! I was sweating now) the nurse asks if I can please come in today- that DOES NOT help any !! The mr arrives to find methrown together acting as though she lost a limb waiting at the door and off we go! 

Worst visit ever! From the time we entered the exam room she decided she was less then thrilled and progressively got more upset. When she saw her dr she went into melt down mode screaming crying holding her breathe (resulting in mama crying and getting sick to her stomach) upon investigation her dr decided the flesh eating virus was nothing more then a slight allergic reaction and heat rash and would be fine. But since she was here let's do her 15 month shots and take blood- I literally almost fainted - noticing how pale I was the mr begins giving me a half pep talk half lecture and we decide he will hold her- one prick, two shots, and an exercism later we all left crying, vaccinated and emotionally disturbed. We treated her to dinner and ice cream with gammy and poppy and at last the day was looking up! By the time we got home it was time for her bath and bed. This is where it all fell apart (yep even worse then earlier- I know!) so mr is having a bathroom break and sits ms c on her potty - idk how the rest played out all I know is what I encountered- I hear him say No! Stay on the potty followed by AMBER!!! (Never a good sign) I walk into him on the toilet, her OFF the toilet and Her POOPING on the tile as I grab her and rush back to the potty it happened. This is where we hit rock bottom- Fenway (the dog ) bust in and in one scoop EATS her poop!!! I immediately begin vomiting into the sink - naked child is back on her potty clapping her hands and laughing - the mr is gagging asking me to stop puking (seriously!? That's the most normal thing happening right now!!!) We have lost control!!! He's hollering , as I continue to puke, Charlie escapes and he tries to put pants back on. We finally managed to gather some composer and wrangle ms c into a bath while the mr brushed the dogs teeth- and then we laughed until we cried. Even on our bad days we are still making memories and even on the days that are literally "crappy" there is still a good laugh in there somewhere. Our family day doesn't end up as planned, and I still can't look at the dog without getting sick - but as we sat reading ms c her bedtime book I couldn't help but smile and think I wouldn't have it any other way. At least it isn't boring haha

That's not pebbles ....

My mother and I own and run a local boutique together in the historic downtown strip that features lots of cozy upscale boutiques boasting anything from home decor to women's and children's fashions  to antiques and beyond. It is both a blessing and a curse to be able to take Charlie to work with me when I need to. People always say "must be nice " when they talk about me working with her and while I do love and appreciate that I don't miss anything or time with her just for a second imagine doing your "job" or helping customers with a lil one year old diva attached to your hip.... Mmmmhmm that's what I thought !

Summers in Tx are hot. We texans are like lobsters in the boiling pot, added in some humidity on top of that heat and you literally feel like you may explode. That's about how the temp was this particular day last week. We had started the day off early with a photo shoot featuring Charlie. Since it smothering hot, and she'd been in full glam mode already I went ahead and just put a light lil onesie on her (something I never do if we leave the house). We were resetting the window displays so i too dressed for comforted and off we went.

She was playing like an angel in our office which lets face it is really hers! My mother aka "gammy" had given her a cup of sonic ice (her addiction ) and she was content. Realizing I was coming in and out (to look at the widows) Charlie thought this would be a fun time to play peak a boo with me. All I can say about what follows is thank goodness is was after we had closed.

As I came in and began picking up my "creative chaos" I noticed a white puffy thing in the floor. As I made my way over I realized it was Charlie's diaper. I froze. I knew what this meant. Lately she started trying to take her diapers off (and was quite successful if she had a onesie on) and then peeing on the floor! -my floors tile and while this lil trend infuriates me it is a quick fix- however the boutique floors are 100yr old wood floors with rugs .... Gammy! Do you have Charlie!? I nervously yelled praying maybe she had caught the naked bandit already... And then we both saw her at the same time I gasp and gammy bellowed out laughing uncontrollably .... There bent over in front of our huge glass window ... Facing the street with passer Byers was my naked child. Bare butt... Having no shame dancing away!! As I made my way over I could here gammy hollering that Charlie had gotten "pebbles " and to grab them so she didn't eat them.... As I got to my naked booty dancing baby and reached down an audible gag escaped ....there in front of the whole downtown my daughter had taken a number two. As I'm mortified trying to remove her and the evidence ASAP she began to applaud herself and dance.... And this is where it got worse (oh yea! It got worse ) on the middle of the floor she continued to "do her business" leaving a trail as i frantically tried to restrain,clean, and avoid her all at once. I now know what a hound dog experiences when trying to wrangle a rabbitt. My mother was of no help. She was bent over laughing uncontrollably which resulted in Charlie getting more excited and more wiggly! We finally managed to get the situation under control and I broke out the bleach as my mom giggled her way through getting a diaper on Charlie. I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry when about that time the duo popped out. Charlie freshly changed clapping her little heart out, and Grammys laughter edging her on, I chose to smile. There amongst the clean up, rubber gloves, and embarrassment I realized I am beyond blessed to not miss any of these shenanigans! And you can bet your pretty penny she lost her right to wear onesies to work.

Words that kill...

I'm not typically one to rant and gripe on here but tonight is an exception. I'm hot- not in a "turn the air down and hit the fans" -but in a "menopausal meltdown I'm homicidal" way. Tonight my husband, God rest his pea brained soul, uttered a phrase that will cost him most likely the rest of his life. No matter how much he laughs it offs, no matter how much Chanel he buys I will remember these words and it will no doubt spark the same rage that it did tonight.

We've had a chaotic and busy last few weeks. We've been home only to sleep it feels , and that has resulted in some fall out in my house keeping. We had company, both worked, then a grill out for the fourth which resulted in a sink full of dishes. Typically I'm a dish nazi ...I hate dirty dishes! Mind you the mr has been off for a few days and home just as much (if not more then me this week)

Today I got back on my schedule and routine emptying out the cram packed fridge bleaching base boards and doing dishes etc. it felt great! I felt refreshed and having done all this with a meltdown Molly of a child today I was feeling quite accomplished. This did not last long.

I was making dinner when he came in from work. He emptied out the contents of HIS lunch that I packed and made small talk about his day. Pretty typical. Then the volcano erupted. "Oh someone finally did dishes " strike one! In my head I thought no he did not say that! He laughed and bent down to kiss my cheek as smugly I replied with "yea and next time I will leave then until you can help too" then in one swift slip of the tongue he hit strike 2 and 3 all at once and released the lava. " that's your job isn't it? I go to work you do the dishes" and thats when i almost murdered my husband. For a split second I considered pouring the boiling noodles on him but quickly thought about the mess it'd leave. The look on my face must have been bad. He giggled like some school girl nervously and tried to tease. I dunno if I was more mad or hurt. I do his laundry, pack his lunch, layout his breakfast, set my alarm to ensure he doesn't over sleep, raise his child, manage the house am part owner of a busy downtown boutique, work from home with marketing, filling orders, pay the bills (I could go on) and all he sees me as is "the dishwasher". I wanted to stab him, cry, and eat chocolate all simultaneously. We joked through dinner and moved on. I of course made reference to the blunder a couple of times but don't think he grasps the magnitude  of that statement.

I'm a mom, a wife, a house manager, a business woman, a lover of pets, a blogger, a chef, and everything in between.

I long for a 12 hr day full of adults and the "real world". For 12hrs without Dora, Mickey, diapers and bottles. I love my child. I love my "jobs" - but I could only wish that my "job" was so clear cut dry and simple. Where are my off days? Paid holiday? Sick leave? And bonuses? Men are so skewed in their perception of how the household is run and what it actually takes to get it done! I am a firm believer that it takes two to tango in ALL aspects of marriage, and living.

He tried to offer a peace treaty foot rub, and piece of chocolate. I took both. I will definitely went to bed feeling nowhere near the trophy wife I aspire to be. He on the other hand will wake up to find I did not lay out his scrubs, I did not make his lunch, I did not set my alarm, and I did not layout his breakfast. If we are only going to do our "required jobs". Fine. But I'm willing to pet he starves or goes naked long before I do.

pro choice pro life ... The Great Debate

I know this is way outside of my typical sarcastic rants about my crazy path to the ultimate wife and mother of all the land, however I don't feel a Facebook status debate is a proper platform to spill my guts on such an explosive topic like abortion. I will state right now that I am not here to judge. Your opinion is your opinion, as is mine. So please be respectful of my openness and accept me for me as I will/ would you. 

I know that typically there is either "pro choice" or "pro life which" is pretty black and white for such a major and layered topic. I feel like opposing "pro choice" gets you labeled a Bible thumping he man woman hater while objecting to "pro life " labels you a bra burning baby killer .... I have a strong hankering that neither of these stereotypes are close to accurate. (However I would love to burn my bras somedays and women really are awful (I kid I kid ... Kinda )

I really feel like the solution to the abortion debate isn't either one of these options. The solution to "unplanned/ unwanted " pregnancies starts long before conception. We live in both a sex fueled and sex phobic culture. Sex is everywhere, music, tv, ads, literature and more but yet we send our children to schools who aren't allowed to say "condom" and aren't able to teach accurate and useful sexual education because we fear it will "promote" this devious act. Personally I feel that sexual education causes people to stop and consider the consequences of an "activity ". Education is our best tool and weapon against any and everything -the more we know the more empowered and ultimately in control we become. Safe sex needs to be taught. You can tell them to abstain all day long but in the off chance there is a lapse in judgement or they "forget" to just say no wouldn't you want to know they knew how to protect them self?

Next - as a woman who became pregnant while on birth control I know it is not 100% fail proof- but I do know that it worked successfully for several years. Better and easier access to birth control would also be a huge help. If a woman feels responsible and mature enough to become sexually active I feel she should be given the tools to be safe, and to prevent becoming pregnant. I would gladly support gov. Funded birth control because it would directly effect the welfare numbers and prevent a lot of these "unplanned pregnancies" that we can't come to terms on as a country.

Last- and yea I know I rushed through this but the points are relatively clear- but last... I do NOT believe that "pro life " means you don't support a woman's choice. I believe that there is indeed SEVERAL choices (see above) that should be made before even having sex! And I believe if you  are properly educated on the risks, and even if you take preventative measures , you KNOW conception is a possibility. If you gamble and loose money do you get to go to the head of the casino and say "ya know I have rent coming up I'm gonna need that back it was a poor choice " (I'm aware the scale of gambling to pregnancy is skewed ) but the point being is you are indeed gambling. There are consequences for every action we make.... And maybe if we spent more time learning how to prevent the initial actions and not the results then we would see successful progress and see there is  a much  bigger colored picture.

I guess my point is that the "pro life" vs "pro choice" is not as black and white, left and right as we all like to think. There is way more to the actual root of the debate. We can't open a can of worms and only pick out the biggest two and say it is "squared away". Lastly - it's our job to fuse black and white into gray there is always a common ground and for me I feel like instead of arm wrestling each other into saying "uncle- you're right " we could put all that time energy and money into preventing the "issue at hand"

The princess and her throne...

Where to even start with this! Hmmm well first lemme explain that C -while she is almost 14months old refuses to walk... She CAN she just simply would rather speed crawl wherever she wants to go... With that being said we've agreed that even though she's showed interest in potty training we really want her walking before we go hardcore into it.... Soooo we said....

Ms C has a fascination with the toilet that is disgusting and infuriating. I (like most mothers in the world) do not get to take a private bathroom break I have a lil shadow that follows me in there sits at my feet and just stares ever so creepy like as if she is awaiting some magnificent performance. This lead me to buying her a training potty. I figured eh she's already in here why not set her on it when I go and just see what happens.... What happens.... What happened ?! A MESS a giant flooding pee river of a mess! First- potty makers of the world who's bladder are these made for!? Barbie could probably flood that lil cup! And second- with all the technology in our world we still haven't found a better potty solution?! It's basically a pimped out bed pan and its gross .... Anyhow so yea she peed first thing! While I cheered her on I watched as the pee just came erupting out like a volcano which lead to me with my pants around my ankles interrupting my potty break scuffling around like a shackled fool with towels thinking you go wonder mom you stopped that mess right in its tracks no pee river on your favorite rug!

At this point as I was soaking in my victories of pee patrol intervention and the fact she went her first time ever sitting on the thing.... That glorious moment was abruptly ended. It was like slow motion. I'm sitting there trying to pee (the adrenaline and excitement of C's pee volcano had made this a lil more difficult ) and I saw her . A million little wires in my head went off and I KNEW what was coming but I choked. I froze. And I watched . With one slick motion of her hand Charlie dumped the full potty chair and all of my hard work at preventing the flood just seconds earlier was washed away with a giant tidal wave that came crushing down on my favorite rug and dog. Yes my daughter dumped her potty of pee on our Boston terrier ....

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry (an emotion I feel ALOT lately) and poor Fenway just sat there as if he too knew how ridiculous this was.

Fenway is an emotionally impaired nervous dog already. He hates new,loud, fast things/people/events etc. at Christmas time he refuses to walk by the tree for a week! And last month he barked at a new picture frame on the mantle for two weeks.... So THIS sent him spiraling (clearly the dog is in the wrong house ) naturally he can't just be normal and lay there and let me clean him up No way! He has to charge me (I'm still on MY toilet in shock ) he is a hefty 23 lb dog he's no chihuahua but apparently in that five seconds he was because he darted behind the toilet and began barking. This in turn scared Charlie and she too charges me and is now climbing my legs which causes Fenway more anxiety so of course he has to start CLAWING the back of my legs ..... It was at this point I decided today was done.

After calming C down and cleaning up the mess in the floor I began the ever so delicate task of getting Fenway to come out. I pulled I sweet talked I  left the room.... Nothing ... I was on the verge of panicking thinking he was surely stuck when C perched at my leg eating cheese stuck her head around to scope out the situation..... The dog shot out like a cannon ... How he even stopped long enough to get the piece of cheese from her hand I do not know... He hit the cabinet he hit C and then darted off like a ping pong ball .... And before I could grab and no matter how much I yelled jumped his pee soaked body right up on my couch .... Needless to say there was ALOT of cleaning bathing and mopping that day and take out for dinner that night ..... And I will not be dabbling in potty training for a while !!!