To me one of the most relaxing things is gettin' my eyebrows waxed..the warm cozy wax, even the quick "swipe" and knowing i will have perfectly shaped eyebrows...i guess maybe because mine are thick and dark I have ALWAYS been obsessed with grooming them. This particular instance was a day before vacation. Knowing there would be tons of pictures taken, and we would be flying in and meeting family we hadn't seen I decided to get my brows done.
Why can't simple things just be simple?
I had been to this place before so i dunno why i felt uneasy perhaps I should listen to my gut more often... anyhow! I sat down in the usual chair, was waited on by the usual girl, proceeded through the usual routine steps, however as she handed me the mirror I could tell by her face that what I was about to see just miiiiiiiiight be slightly less then "usual"
I had noticed that it seemed like she plucked more then she usually did..and she talked in Vietnamese more then usual...also alarming was the fact the other tech. came over and poked around a bit...
As I looked into the mirror I did not even have words to yell at her...all I could see was the big, bare, BALD, patch that WAS my eyebrow!! She could see my terror and began to tell me how pretty I was.....yea right lady I can SEE!!! All I could choke out was"NO! put it BACK!!"..Before I could say anymore she spoke words that made me boil even more then the ripped off eyebrow..the lil' 50 pound 95 year old woman said "you be very pretty if you were smaller...loose weight"...REALLY?! the weight is what's off?! I thought it might be the MISSING EYEBROW!!!!!
I dunno bout you ladies but I go to the spa for a pick me up, maybe it's to get a mani or pedi...a waxing...or massage but i leave feeling pretty and better about myself...NOT this day...
Now for those of you that do not know me I am 5ft tall and curvy...I am def. not skin and bones, but I'm rather comfortable with my small frame. I workout, and take relatively good care of myself could I loose 5 or 10 pounds well sure! But at this particular time I was headed to Mexico in a bikini the next day!!!
I began to cry and luckily she did not even MENTION payment...as I fled the seen of the crime I got into my car and bawled...this fat one eyebrowed woman was def. not a trophy wife...arriving at my mothers I was praying it wasn't as noticeable as I thought....without saying anything I walked in and before I could say hi she began to laugh hysterical asking "where's your eyebrow"?!....
Needless to say my week's vacation was spent wearing low floppy hats, side bangs, and eating salad...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
PUT IT BACK...I'M NOT FAT!!!
For Jessica!~ Bacon Contest and Engagement Party
YAY for winning the contest love!! here are some YUMMY fast and easy bacon recipes that any domestic diva should have on hand for those last min. get together, gatherings, football parties, or any dinner party!!
1. Bacon wrapped Jalapeno- you wrap the bacon around the jalapeno secure with a tooth pick and either pop them on the grill or in the skillet! you can stuff them with cream cheese if you wish but either way they are delish!
2. All the way mashed potatoes- Mashed potatoes with chives, sour cream, cheese and you guessed it BACON!!
3.Bacon-Wrapped Potato Bites with Spicy Sour Cream Dipping Sauce
makes about three dozen bites
1 pound small or medium red potatoes
1 1/2 teaspoons chopped, fresh rosemary
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
freshly ground pepper
12 ounces-to-1 pound thick-cut bacon
1 cup (8 ounces) sour cream
1 teaspoon hot sauce
salt and pepper
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Wash and dry the potatoes. Chop them into 1-inch pieces, keeping the chunks roughly the same size, even if they aren't the exact same shape. Put the potatoes in a medium pot, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil. Season the water with salt. Once the water begins to boil, cook the potatoes for about 3 to 4 minutes, until you can stick a fork into them without too much resistance. You want the potatoes to be almost, but not fully, cooked through (so they won't fall apart during the next steps).
Drain the potatoes and put them in a large bowl. Add the rosemary, olive oil, salt, and a few grinds of pepper, and toss until the potatoes are evenly coated.
Cut the strips of bacon in half (with a short, vertical slice). Wrap each piece of potato in a half-strip of bacon, securing it with a toothpick. Put the potatoes on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or aluminum foil. You may need to cook the potatoes in two batches.
Cook the potatoes for 15 minutes, then flip each piece. Cook for another 10 to 15 minutes, until the bacon is cooked through and crisp. Mix the sour cream and hot sauce in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Pile the potato bites on a plate and serve alongside the dip.
4.Bacon/chees quesadillas: I use the quesadilla maker; but you can use a regular skillet...just take a tortilla fold in half and fill with shredded cheese and cooked bacon! pop in the skillet like you would a grilled cheese, you can add scrambled eggs/potatoes for a breakfast taco
Hope that helps you out a little bit!! and as for the engagement party:
It's to honor YOU guys and let everyone ooooh an ahhh over your ring!!!...it lets the families mingle and the wedding party meet! A good way to incorporate the bacon and the party is to have a grill out type engagement party!!
some fun ideas are "she said yes" plates/napkins/invites you can find at any local hobby lobby michaels walmart target etc.
having a basket with blank notecards for guest to write "marriage tips" for the couple/ best wishes
pictures of the couple throughout their time together placed about with fun facts about each them like where they met, how long you've been together, their first date, their favorite movie, their song, etc.
a money tree: a place for guest to give financial gifts to the couple
"the newly-wed game" - use an older couple (like grandparents), a middle couple (parents/step parents) or another "friend" couple, and the engaged couple ask fun questions like what's their fave color, what's their fave drink etc. and see who wins! have blank paper and pens for answers to be written down!
the father of the bride usually makes a toast giving his blessing on the engagement
Hope that helps you girly!! Have fun!!!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Secret Weapons ...(Kitchen)
Every soldier is only as good as their gun. So for this part of our "mission" we need some power behind all this steam! As with any super hero, domestic divas need some secret "Weapons" of their own! This post is specific to kitchen items. To master any dinner party, pot-luck, or just a cranky husband there are two key goals...fast and EASY!
These are items that every too hot to handle woman should own and keep ready to use at any time:
1. George Foreman: it's fast, keeps meat relatively lean, grills, toasts, and you don't have to deal with the food after you have put it on the grill...I use ours for everything from bacon, fajita chicken, to simple grilled cheese. It's fast and it is so simple to just wipe clean! def. a life saver...and leaves the oven open for baking dessert!
2. Ninja Chopper- or really any brand blender/food processor. It allows for you to make items such as guacamole, salsa, shakes, smoothies, chicken salad or chop meat and veggies..and makes it look and TASTE like you a Emerald himself! It's so much easier to clean up and saves some serious time!!
3. Deep Fryer: from freezer to golden in a matter of min. you can whip up fast sides, great appetizers, even desserts, and meat and have everyone thinking you surely ordered out! It's the biggest time saver! We have one you can clean the grease on, it has two baskets to do 2 things at once, and a top cover so it isn't an eye sore! You will be the hottest football party on the block, and the best movie night in town!
4. Kitchen Aide Mixer: This is the mack daddy of all kitchen appliances...pricey yes but well worth every penny...from homemade pasta to hand baked bread you can literally feed the world with this mixer, or just whip up some A-list cupcakes! Not to mention the way it looks sitting on the kitchen counter ;)
5. Non-Stick pans- last but certainly not least good non-stick pans are the key to making cooking look effortless! Everything cooks even, looks great (because half isn't left behind), and they are a breeze to clean up!
Now that you know what you're going to use to knock em' dead!, I'll have to post the HOW part! Stay tuned some fast easy and DELICIOUS diva recipes are next up!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Boobie Melt Down.....(literally)
OK! so back to round two with this "image"....I decided the "girls" needed some definite boosting...and while 90% of the women I encounter on a daily basis have PERMANENTLY "boosted" theirs I just am not mentally, nor financially ready for the step just yet.
The ever so lovely Victoria Secret was sure to have just what i needed...a lil "umph" and ALOTTA push! The clerk was great and said she had the perfect "wonder bra" for me so off we went...well it was a wonder alright!! That I could see me NECK after the things were shoved, lifted, puffed, and secured right into those bra cups the bulged as if they were muffin tins that had too much cake mix in them. She smiled and said "perfect"! Looks awesome!...as open mouthed I gocked back at my reflection. I thought I looked more like a "stage performer" then a housewife but just then she mouthed the words that sealed the deal....tossing her perfect golden locks over her shoulder she smiled "YA know I love it that even though you're married you still wanta look hot...now that's couture"....ALARM BELLS WENT OFF!!!! "I'll take it!" I proudly strolled myself to the check out, wearing my new weapon of choice and laid the credit card down. I felt like I could take on the world...as if that new "set of twins" was my golden ticket to ...whatever I wanted!
When I arrived home that evening I waited for my husband to arrive just sure he'd be wowed with my latest update! Luckily he's learned that he never is quite sure what he will come home to so something that isn't permanent, didn't ruin any part of the house, and won't cost a fortune to fix...he appreciates!
As he rounded the corner to the kitchen where I was standing over the stove I saw his eyes work their way up to mine.
"What are those?" he pointed to my chest
Ah ha! I knew he'd be impressed...maybe just MAYBE I was gettin' this trophy wife stuff down! As I turned to "shimmy" him a hello! I suddenly felt a gap between my skin and my left breast....simultaneously I heard the spppprrr-clunk into the vegetable soup I was stirring....
NO!!!! I screamed...and began frantically fishing my silicone falsee out of the mess!...as I began to pull it out I noticed half was missing...as I peered into the bottom of the pan I found it ...melted onto the pot like hot wax....and then and there with one breast still at attention the other bubbling on the stove...I had a melt down....
My husband, still in shock from his eventful 10min. home, began to laugh...and as he laughed I cried....I cried until I laughed and as he wiped the gunky mascara from my face he kissed my forehead and simply said "I'll order Chinese"...
Faking the "Homemade"
I have discovered a secret to "those" women’s amazing "homemade" from scratch dishes. They fake the homemade and they do it well….nothing is better than Granny’s cooking however there are some things that are just as good! Domestic Diva lesson number what are we on 3?....Always make it look hard, always make sure it’s easy!
Perhaps it’s a “southern” thing, but I have had a mad love affair with homemade mashed potatoes for…forever. The perfect texture of smooth seduction with just a touch of lumps; the way they melt when they hit your tongue, and the instant “hug” you feel as you take it all in one bite at a time. All this for mashed potatoes?.. you smirk.. NO all this for HOMEMADE mashed potatoes. Def. a comfort food you should enjoy in controlled amounts yet it is still one of the greatest treasures of the south.
I’m going to share a secret to making instant potatoes taste just like Granny’s. I know in our busy life we don’t always have time to boil and peel and dice and mash, so here is a quick fix that will leave you with that same hug feeling in 1/2 the time!
Here's the plan of attack:
Use Idaho potato flakes (mix as directed)
At one can of PET milk, (1/2 for 4 or less servings)
A stick (or 2 if you please) of butter
Sour cream to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
And WHAAAAAAAAALAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Whether it’s the family, or a dinner party they will think you spent all day slaving over the stove…and wonder how you found time to look so good while doing it!!!
Walking the errrhhh...stumbling the ...
Well since I have boosted the "internal" I thought I'd boost the external...I have noticed everywhere I turn women are striding around like graceful waterfalls in heels. No matter the temp., weather, or place women love them! There is something so instantly sexy about a woman in heels, that "old charm" elegance of the way she walks as if they are pillows (when we all know she has to be in such pain!)...the way the legs look instantly long and silky as if at any moment she is going to just pull out the red lips stick and go all Betty Gable on us!
Well me being a ferocious 5 feet nothing I figured it would be the thing to do...,getting heels that is, but what I didn't realize was I was getting a "2 for"...while wearing those heels I was getting a workout and free toe amputation!
I found the cutest pair of zebra print peak a boos, thick black heels rimmed in black trim with the most adorable and pin up-esque side clasp. I was in love...until I wore them to the grocery store...then I was in pain and an instant bad mood! No WONDER these women seem so snooty...they are crying inside! The intense burning is one i can't express in words. That of a thousand red wasps all attacking the EXACT same spot on your toe...I could feel my feet swelling and was beginning to seriously doubt my ability to walk back to my car in these death traps when the jello legs hit!
Ya know! The sea legs that scream NO MORE we're DONE!!! and begin to go numb and limb as if you are now being held up by cocktail sticks! Before I got married I wore heels every day as if they were flip flops, well today I realized that I was def. outta practice!...So I had no choice! There in the middle of HEB with my buggy full of groceries I took of the horrible bear traps and grabbed the nearest pair of house shoes I could see. The feeling of instant gratification was priceless....the fashion statement was indeed priceless too!
I noticed two reactions from two different women on the same aisle...both were in heels...the first, was standing there with her lean cuisines and organic apple juice looking at me like I had just scalped a parrot! Her mouth fell open and she let out a small "ah" as if what she had seen would lead her to years of therapy...the second....was from one of us...she tilted her head slowly peaking over the fish sticks and store brand soda...dragging her screaming pigtailed child behind her...and she let out a small "ah" as if what she'd seen was the BRAVEST thing she'd ever witness!! As if right then and there she would raise her heels in the air with me and we'd chant a witty cheer as we doused them in gasoline and held hands as they burned...yes right then and there we bonded with no words, no exchanges just understanding...
Talking the Talk....
So I decided that on this quest for fabulosity! I needed to start from the inside out!...SO self esteem boost it is. I can remember back to before I was married; I was collected confident and scared of nothing, where did that girl go?
Now I walk by a mirror and cringe! (or just avoid the mirror all together) Maybe it's a few extra pounds that made the change, the fact I am STILL working on finishing college, or the fact that I know nobody in our lovely new little nest we have moved to (San Antonio, TX that is)whatever the reasons they aren't good enough!
If ever we should be proud now! We manage a home, and the people within it!! We make the schedule, we run the buses, we work the floor, and we make the pitch of why and why not...that is something to hold your head up high about! Here are 5 steps to easily boost your self esteem! IT WORKS! and it's the stepping stone to this domestic diva within!!! Find the complete guide here > http://ezinearticles.com/?Gain-Confidence-and-Boost-Self-Esteem-in-5-Simple-Steps&id=152685
1. Decide something and DO IT!
*We all have that friend we keep saying we will call, or that thank you note we never mailed, and that never ending "To-Do" list. Even just completing a simple task like these gives us a since of accomplishment! Set small goals and build to bigger ones not only will you feel infused you will notice a lower stress level!
2. Find a hobby you are good at!
* It doesn't haven't to be hard! Something as simple as jogging, or scrap booking, painting, or writing. It will make you feel capable!!
3.Interact with others!
* This allows us to take the focus off of ourselves and what we see so wrong with ourselves. By socializing we invest in others.
4.RELAX!
*Bubble bath, tanning, reading, yoga, or a deep breathe whatever your fancy take a min. to just...."be" enjoy the calm and release the negative energy!
5. STAY POSITIVE!
*At the end of the day don't dwell on what we didn't get done! Rejoice in what we did!!! Don't think about those 15 pounds left to loose, strut the fact that you've already lost 5! The littlest things make such a big impact...it's all just a state of mind so take control and make those thoughts POSITIVE!
~*One thing I noticed when doing all of these things is A. they are fast simple and can all be done in the car if need be lol, and B. They involve taking time to ENJOY ourselves...we focus our time on our family which is great but we still need to make "ME" time, and rejoice in the many things we do each day...in this case make a mountain outta that mole hill!
BONJOUR!!!
