Walking the errrhhh...stumbling the ...

Well since I have boosted the "internal" I thought I'd boost the external...I have noticed everywhere I turn women are striding around like graceful waterfalls in heels. No matter the temp., weather, or place women love them! There is something so instantly sexy about a woman in heels, that "old charm" elegance of the way she walks as if they are pillows (when we all know she has to be in such pain!)...the way the legs look instantly long and silky as if at any moment she is going to just pull out the red lips stick and go all Betty Gable on us!

Well me being a ferocious 5 feet nothing I figured it would be the thing to do...,getting heels that is, but what I didn't realize was I was getting a "2 for"...while wearing those heels I was getting a workout and free toe amputation!

I found the cutest pair of zebra print peak a boos, thick black heels rimmed in black trim with the most adorable and pin up-esque side clasp. I was in love...until I wore them to the grocery store...then I was in pain and an instant bad mood! No WONDER these women seem so snooty...they are crying inside! The intense burning is one i can't express in words. That of a thousand red wasps all attacking the EXACT same spot on your toe...I could feel my feet swelling and was beginning to seriously doubt my ability to walk back to my car in these death traps when the jello legs hit!

Ya know! The sea legs that scream NO MORE we're DONE!!! and begin to go numb and limb as if you are now being held up by cocktail sticks! Before I got married I wore heels every day as if they were flip flops, well today I realized that I was def. outta practice!...So I had no choice! There in the middle of HEB with my buggy full of groceries I took of the horrible bear traps and grabbed the nearest pair of house shoes I could see. The feeling of instant gratification was priceless....the fashion statement was indeed priceless too!

I noticed two reactions from two different women on the same aisle...both were in heels...the first, was standing there with her lean cuisines and organic apple juice looking at me like I had just scalped a parrot! Her mouth fell open and she let out a small "ah" as if what she had seen would lead her to years of therapy...the second....was from one of us...she tilted her head slowly peaking over the fish sticks and store brand soda...dragging her screaming pigtailed child behind her...and she let out a small "ah" as if what she'd seen was the BRAVEST thing she'd ever witness!! As if right then and there she would raise her heels in the air with me and we'd chant a witty cheer as we doused them in gasoline and held hands as they burned...yes right then and there we bonded with no words, no exchanges just understanding...