The princess and her throne...

Where to even start with this! Hmmm well first lemme explain that C -while she is almost 14months old refuses to walk... She CAN she just simply would rather speed crawl wherever she wants to go... With that being said we've agreed that even though she's showed interest in potty training we really want her walking before we go hardcore into it.... Soooo we said....

Ms C has a fascination with the toilet that is disgusting and infuriating. I (like most mothers in the world) do not get to take a private bathroom break I have a lil shadow that follows me in there sits at my feet and just stares ever so creepy like as if she is awaiting some magnificent performance. This lead me to buying her a training potty. I figured eh she's already in here why not set her on it when I go and just see what happens.... What happens.... What happened ?! A MESS a giant flooding pee river of a mess! First- potty makers of the world who's bladder are these made for!? Barbie could probably flood that lil cup! And second- with all the technology in our world we still haven't found a better potty solution?! It's basically a pimped out bed pan and its gross .... Anyhow so yea she peed first thing! While I cheered her on I watched as the pee just came erupting out like a volcano which lead to me with my pants around my ankles interrupting my potty break scuffling around like a shackled fool with towels thinking you go wonder mom you stopped that mess right in its tracks no pee river on your favorite rug!

At this point as I was soaking in my victories of pee patrol intervention and the fact she went her first time ever sitting on the thing.... That glorious moment was abruptly ended. It was like slow motion. I'm sitting there trying to pee (the adrenaline and excitement of C's pee volcano had made this a lil more difficult ) and I saw her . A million little wires in my head went off and I KNEW what was coming but I choked. I froze. And I watched . With one slick motion of her hand Charlie dumped the full potty chair and all of my hard work at preventing the flood just seconds earlier was washed away with a giant tidal wave that came crushing down on my favorite rug and dog. Yes my daughter dumped her potty of pee on our Boston terrier ....

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry (an emotion I feel ALOT lately) and poor Fenway just sat there as if he too knew how ridiculous this was.

Fenway is an emotionally impaired nervous dog already. He hates new,loud, fast things/people/events etc. at Christmas time he refuses to walk by the tree for a week! And last month he barked at a new picture frame on the mantle for two weeks.... So THIS sent him spiraling (clearly the dog is in the wrong house ) naturally he can't just be normal and lay there and let me clean him up No way! He has to charge me (I'm still on MY toilet in shock ) he is a hefty 23 lb dog he's no chihuahua but apparently in that five seconds he was because he darted behind the toilet and began barking. This in turn scared Charlie and she too charges me and is now climbing my legs which causes Fenway more anxiety so of course he has to start CLAWING the back of my legs ..... It was at this point I decided today was done.

After calming C down and cleaning up the mess in the floor I began the ever so delicate task of getting Fenway to come out. I pulled I sweet talked I  left the room.... Nothing ... I was on the verge of panicking thinking he was surely stuck when C perched at my leg eating cheese stuck her head around to scope out the situation..... The dog shot out like a cannon ... How he even stopped long enough to get the piece of cheese from her hand I do not know... He hit the cabinet he hit C and then darted off like a ping pong ball .... And before I could grab and no matter how much I yelled jumped his pee soaked body right up on my couch .... Needless to say there was ALOT of cleaning bathing and mopping that day and take out for dinner that night ..... And I will not be dabbling in potty training for a while !!!